too bad i can't crochet or knit

gasoline, because all of a sudden it seems to be in alarmingly short supply around here...due to a single refinery fire in sarnia, and a so-called cn rail strike, gas stations all around are (gouging) hiking up their prices and either running out of gas altogether or raising the prices even higher and still running out of gas. a "politician" called our situation 'very dire', and said that alarm bells should be going off around this province to wake up everyone to the crisis...what do the politicians care though, they get chauffeured wherever they want to go at the tax payer's expense, so do they really give a rat's behind if normal, every day people are getting into fist fights while waiting hours in lines for gas that they will be paying 40 percent more for this week than they were two weeks ago? who would have ever thought a single, solitary oil refinery fire would bring this leviathan province to its wobbly knees and threaten to cripple its very every-day existence? or is it more likely that the oil companies will use even the smallest excuse to jack up the prices on gas, leave them that way and then slowly--ever so slowly--lower them just a tidge over an extended period of time only to find yet another excuse, like someone farted on an oil rig in the north atlantic and because of that the supply of gas will be limited, to raise them even higher? you be the judge.

when all else fails i make dishcloths

nothing else i make seems to give me the satisfaction, 'warm fuzzy' or instant gratification of making a simple dishcloth.

my current favourite pattern is the ball band pattern from the mason dixon knitting book. if you don't have the book, you are in luck though, because you can get the pattern for absolute free, thanks to your bestest buddy, 'the internets', check the bottom of my post for the link to the most amazing warshrag pattern you will ever make. really it's lots of fun and very easy to memorize.

for the sake of (sanity) decluttering, my 'living room stash'--or 'mt. kiki' as cee refers to it--has all been put away and i've kept only a 'couple' projects out handy to work on, anything i could stuff & cram into my knitting bag, plus an enigmatic blanket for some yet un-named someone. i have found i can stuff a lot into my knitting bag...insert your filthy jokes here...and this way my stash will get used up more....yeah, that's what i keep telling myself...like this morning, i decided that

this little ball of softy deminy goodness

may yet soon be turned into calorimetry from knitty winter '06, it was just calling out to be made into something.

if you like the simple things like me and can't live without making the ball band dishcloth, you can find the link to the pattern right here.

if you are curious as to what in the heck calorimetry is--other than the scientific term, that is-- you can find the pattern at knitty.

there's a reason

why they call it 'dead of winter'....

and no, i'm not talking about that spooky flick with mary steenburgen, jan rubes, and roddy mcdowall at his all-time creepiest--but i must say i did enjoy that movie!--the days are getting longer, but not any warmer...everyone i know is basically hibernating, except if they have to dig themselves out of yet another snowfall. even the dogs don't stay out for long, and who can blame them?

now i know that our winter out here started alarmingly late, but it has made up for it's tardy entrance with a vengeance, in both accumulation and temperature. all the more reason to stay inside and make thread snowflakes, or drink hot apple cider sitting by the fireplace (not that we have one, but doesn't that sound nice?), or read a good book, or watch a movie, or whatever blows your skirt up.

five

i came to a realization the other day. for the past few years i remember feeling really sad at the beginning of the year, that the year wasn't starting off well, and thought it was just my being all miserable about my birthday and getting older, and then the other day it just hit me like a ton of bricks...some really horrible, traumatic things have happened in my life over the past 10 years right around christmas and the new year. my dad was diagnosed with cancer in the beginning of december in 1997, he died a little over three years later, just 5 days after my birthday in january...he made it to the new millenium.

just when you think things are getting back to some semblance of normal, life comes along and boots you in the teeth again. not quite two years later, i got a call from my mom. it was a week before christmas. we had a conversation that contained the words 'ultrasound', 'chest xray', 'malignant' and 'inoperable', to name a few. she was such a brave and strong woman. she just said 'it's no use crying over it, it won't do any good, it's done now.' i came home for a visit a couple of weeks later because i knew there wouldn't be much time. there wasn't. we lost mom not even a month later, on february 11th, two years and almost one month after dad passed. it was a monday morning, and i got a call at work from my sister, and i remember stupidly saying 'but i just talked to her yesterday...', as if that would make what she had just told me untrue. i held it together long enough with my coworker to get out of the office, thinking i could get in the elevator, and start crying, but when the doors opened there was a man standing in the elevator...i remember trying so hard not to burst into hysterical sobs, so as not to scare the living crap out of this poor man, who had no idea why i would be so upset on a monday morning, and even found myself making absurdly polite small talk with him about the weather, all the while thinking to myself, 'this is what it feels like to really go insane.' and praying for the elevator to get to the parking garage so i could just get into my car and fall apart.

it's silly because i'm a grown woman, but i said to my sister at her house after the funeral that we were orphans now. not like some dickensian version of orphans, no, but i still felt like a small child that was all alone in the world. of course i wasn't, i had cee and his family, my brothers and sister, and all our family, and some really wonderful friends to support me and share in my grief. but at that bleak moment i couldn't see any of that and i felt so hopelessly all alone.

i dream about my parents all the time. at first everything is great and we are all happy, and then all of a sudden i will realize, in the dream, that something just isn't quite right...most times i will figure it out in the dream, but sometimes i just travel through the dream with a vague feeling that i'm missing something. i have a theory that it's part of the grieving process. last night i dreamed that mom and dad were going out for a walk with chopin. when i woke up i smiled.

my mom always was proud of what i made, even when all i could make was an uneven granny square. she was so impressed when i finally learned how to follow a pattern to make a baby afghan for a friend. i've progressed far beyond that now, and even learned to knit since mom passed. i like to think of her smiling down every time i finish something new, and even sending me some inspiration when i really need it.

this is my latest finished project. a knitted jacket and hat, made with gifted yarn (thanks pammy!) the pattern was a freebie project sheet from coats & clark. i loved the look of it, but the sizing made me laugh, size 6-12 months...that's quite a large variation, no? it's been a while since i've been around a baby, but i do remember them changing a whole lot in size between 6 & 12 months. cee's one comment about it was to ask if i ran out of buttons...i think it's supposed to be like a matinee jacket or a sacque...really i followed the pattern, it only buttons up at the top.

there are many cables and a 'plume' (looks like a feather and fan to me) pattern, so this kept my interest while i was making it. i like patterns with different stitches because i get so bored knitting stockinette row after row.

you can see the yarn a little better in this picture, as well as the pattern.

i think mom would like this set.

what a good boy

goodbye my sweet, wonderful Chopin, i'm so sorry i couldn't be there with you in the end. you were such a good boy. i will always remember the day i brought you home as one of the happiest days of my life.

you brought joy and laughter to all our lives. you lived well and were well loved. you ruled the house and everyone in it. you fought hard to live and went through more surgeries and procedures than anyone should have to live through, but in the end it was all just too much for your poor little body to bear and you could fight no more.

i know now that you are in a wonderful place where there is no pain, no ache, no sickness, no endless rounds of medication or i.v.s or feeding tubes. a place where your liver won't fail and the vet won't cry because there's nothing else she can do for you...you are in a place now where you can run and play like we did when you were a puppy and go for endless walks with dad and mom and Rumpy and you can bark all day long at whoever you want and no one will ever tell you to be quiet.


i know for you there is no more suffering, for us though, the heartache is just beginning. we will miss hearing your barks, getting your kisses and giving you tummy rubs, and just having you there like the faithful companion you were.

goodbye, beloved puppy.

Chopin

March 29, 1993 -- February 2, 2007

see you at the rainbow bridge...

chaussettes

really i'm not trying to be pretentious and be all like 'i know how to speak french' and all that, because i can't...well, at least not beyond the canadian public school system's teachings, and that was waaay too long ago to mention, in fact too long ago to remember much, i was a little stuck for a post title and didn't feel like just calling it 'socks', so i used the french word.....for socks.

i learned how to cable without a cable needle for these little socks--which cee helpfully pointed out to me don't match--so that was my exciting learn for the week. i did have to get a little assistance from the helpful folks over at knitter's review forums because i just couldn't visualize how it would work, i was all 'howdeedodat', but then after a night's sleep i finally figured it out, yay me.

em...you do know they don't match, right?

why yes, yes i do...i made the pink one first and if you are eagle eyed you will notice that the foot is longer...too many rows...misread pattern, not enough caffeine, my mistake. too lazy to rip it back and fix...made the blue one just because and this time got it right. i didn't have anyone in mind, was just trying out a new pattern....but i suppose if someone needed a pair or two for say, a new baby that might be on its way, i could be persuaded to make some more..i promise to make two the same colour...maybe....