seven years

i like to keep things light around here so i won't get too maudlin, at least i'll try. it was seven years ago today that we lost my dad. it seems like yesterday to me, especially on this day, or other days--special occasions like his birthday, father's day, christmas...the list goes on. my life changed forever that day. in the blink of an eye your entire world can turn completely upside down, while everyone and everything around you just keeps on as normal...i will never forget that sick, freaky, almost nightmarish feeling i had driving home from the hospital--watching people go about their normal daily routines, traffic on the road, people rushing into grocery stores, hurrying on their commute home from work, busy doing nothing and everything, normal wednesday afternoon activities, all the while my family's lives were coming apart at the seams and we struggled to come to the realization that dad was gone, we would never see him again, never hear his voice, never hear his laugh, never. it broke my heart to see the dog sit by the door day in and day out for weeks waiting for dad to walk through it and come home, not understanding where he was. grief is such a personal thing. you hear things like 'it will get better with time'...i don't know about better, but for me it's become less...painful i guess is the only word that fits...for me it's a wound that won't ever quite heal. i was wrong about not seeing him again, i see him all the time in my dreams. it's not the same though, i miss my dad.